Friday, June 19, 2009

Change has come

I feel an explanation is in order for the slacking off that I have done as far as posting. I can blame it on many things, but the truth of the matter is, my mind has just been in, and currently still is in, about 4 different directions.
Let me start off by saying just how incredibly awesome our Lord is. Not just in our times of need... but always. My love has been without a job since last November. He has had many odd jobs since, including a job with a guy that has since become a close friend of his, but nothing permanent, with good pay, and benefits. Being that the number of job losses increases almost daily, we knew it would truly be the hand of God if my love found a job. So, he set off to prepare himself for just about the only positions that he could find that were still available... truck driving. He went to school, and completed all the classes and tests to get his CDL class A license. Now the hard part. After applying for just about every available position he could find, we had to wait, in the hopes that someone out there would give a guy with little experience a chance.
Meanwhile... for the past few months we have been trying to sell our condo. For obvious reasons, we simply couldn't afford it anymore. We have a contract on it now, and since it's a short sale, we were just waiting on the approval from the banks on the price. After a few more months, we have come to find out, the banks have approved the amount.
After finding this out, Joey got a call from Choice Environmental Services about a truck driving job. He went in for the interview, took the driving test, and had a drug test. A week later he got the call... "You got the job." We were both thrilled beyond belief. So, now with a new job in place, condo sold, we were on the search for an apartment. I wasn't very thrilled though, I have become quite tired of apartment living. Sharing the washer/dryer, pool, and hearing constant bumping, loud kids, and even louder radios and televisions above us... we were so over it.But then again, whatever the Lord had in store, we were willing to accept. That all worked out for us in the end, no one seemed to want to take a chance on a guy with a brand new job. So... we started looking for single family homes to rent for the year. While talking to my Pastor and his wife, he mentioned that Joe Novelo, Pastor, Executive Director of Missionary Resource Network, and missionary in Brazil, had a house not very far from ours for rent. Oh, and get this, he just happened to be in town from Brazil trying to find someone to rent the house. He came to our church last weekend to share what has been going on in Brazil. Joe and I had lunch with him, and talked about the house. Ladies and gentelman, as of last night, we will be renting his house from him! We are just so thankful to the Lord. Even through these tough times, He still makes a way.
More updates to come.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Best Friends

Today I decided to do a mini photo shoot with Caleb & Emilio outside while they were playing. I have been watching little Caleb since he was about 9 months old. Him and Emilio have become the best of friends. Since I'm not a fan of posed pictures, I decided to just let them do their thing, and just snap away, hoping I would get at least a few good ones I could frame. They ran, they jumped, they even took turns wearing Emilio's hat. They share a bond that's closer than friends, it's more like a brotherhood. They ate dirt together, pulled out handfuls of grass to give to the other one to taste, it really was cute. Oh, and don't worry, I stepped in once Emilio turned to look at me, and I noticed all his teeth were black.
So, I sat back in the grass on this hot summer day, taking these pictures that one day I hope, they will both appreciate. Just watching them run and play brought me back to the beginning, when they first met. There were lots of fights over toys, food, you name it. But they have since matured into bouncy 2-yr old boys that actually look out for each other now. They bring each other their sippy cups, when Beany gets two m&m's for going potty, he always asks for them both to be the same color so that he can give one to his bestest friend, Caleb, and Caleb is actually the ONLY person he shares his cars with, besides his papi of course.
This was fun. Now I have to get Amiyah together with some of her bestees for their own shoot.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Confession -

Yesterday morning I awoke, and did something I haven't done in an entire year. Now now, allow me to explain. Since my brother's murder people have been asking, " How is your relationship with the Lord? " I always answer them honestly, stating that, "It's fine." I read my Bible, and pray almost daily. But the one thing I haven't been able to bring myself to do is worship. I haven't spent good quality time in the presence of my Lord while listening to worship in over a year. For a very simple reason. I have not wanted the comfort of the Lord. You see, for this entire year, besides the unbeliveable amount of memories my mind has been able to get ahold of, the only thing I had left, the only thing still connecting me to Randall,apart from his shorts that still lay under my mattress, and his shoe that still sits on my nightstand, in my mind, were my tears. The ripping through my heart that I still feel today. I was afraid that if I let God in, He would heal me of it all, and I would lose the connection, even though painful, that I had with him. I was not ready to heal. The wonderful thing about God is, He waits. He waits, knowing that the day will come when I will throw myself in His arms because I just can't seem to carry this any longer. The burden of my grief, I was carrying alone. At times I felt like I had a stone wrapped around my ankle, and someone had picked me up and thrown me into the sea. I was sinking in my grief, gasping for air. All the while my Lord was there, ready to cut the cord, and take me back to the surface.The weight has been lifted,and the void, the emptiness I thought I'd feel in the place in my heart where Randall belonged is not there, but he is. I still feel him, I still hear him, I still see his smile. I know for sure I will see him again. So,today my Jesus has taken me in His arms, and assured me that through it all He will never leave me, nor forsake me. Thank you Abba, for waiting for my return.